Monday, September 27, 2010

It's been a long while

Hi everyone! It's been almost a year since my last post. I've been really busy and I am just too tired to blog. Well now I have found my zest and will start blogging again.

My paternal grandma just passed away on 11 September (yeah what a memorable date!) from liver cancer at the age of 84. I have learnt a lot about her death and has been reading it up (under the Buddhists' perspective on death) and it has helped me to deal with my grandmother's death. My grandma, Magdelene, was diagnosed with liver cancer about two months ago and the diagnostic was bad. At most she will live for about three to six months. I have been (along with my parents and my family) visiting her weekly in Johor, Malaysia, where she was living with my uncle and his family. I feel that the regular visits were helpful to me or rather all of us as we were slowly accepting that she will not be here forever. She was in a lot of pain. But grandma Magdelene was a strong woman and she refused morphine and bear with the pain. My auntie and cousin would give her longevitology therapy daily to ease her pain. Occasionally she will joked with us and told us she will be migrating soon and probably to Australia.

Three days before her passing, she told my auntie that she will be migrating soon. She was in such pain she was admitted to the hospital and the doctor said that she will not survive more than three days. And on the third day morning, she has passed away peacefully with her sister by her bed while my uncle and their family went out for breakfast. My family and myself rushed to her in the morning but just couldn't make it in time. I did not have the chance to say goodbye but at least I know that she was no longer in suffering and is in the safe hands of God (grandma Magdelene is a Catholic). I gave her my last love and said some prayers for her and felt a sense of ease and sadness at the same time.

Grandma Magdelene had a grand farewell. My little cousin who is my grandma's favourite grandchild, dreamt of her on the day she passed away. She said that my grandma was very happy and she took her to a place (I guess it's heaven) where it was cold and they were cloud hopping! And there was a long table full of delicacies and grandma Magdelene was holding an older woman's hand (who was her mother). Everyone felt happy as we know that grandma Magdelene was free from suffering and has moved on to another life. In Buddhism, we believe that death is not the end and it is another journey.

I felt I have understood life and death a little more and will continue to live life to it's fullest and continue to be a better person every day.

2 comments:

Melanie Gray Augustin said...

Teresa, I'm typing now with tears in my eyes. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Such a beautiful post especially the part about your cousin's dream. I'm sure that's where she is now.

Lots of love to you and your family.

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